What the Hell...?

     Okay, something really weird is happening - well, it didn't start just now. I've thought about this multiple times before for about a year now. I haven't done anything about this and these thoughts haven't changed my daily life or any of my relationships or something, but...  Okay, there's this guy that used to go to my school. He graduated last year which kinda bummed me out because I'm positive that he was the hottest, most sweetest thing to walk across my path, but....  what if I told you....   that "he" wasn't a he? I had no idea that he was really a she until someone told me, because he would always have a girlfriend at his side kissing on him while I stood by, being jealous - well, kissing on her. So now I'm conflicted. When I see pictures of her face, I'm like, "Oh god, yes." because I automatically imagine the rest of her existing as a guy (which it looks a lot like it) , but when I think of what's really there, I'm like, "Oh, whoa! Back up there.", then I think about it for a few moments, and I come to the conclusion that it's not that bad if I don't think about it. Now I don't know what to think, because I know I'm straight (when I wonder what it would be like if I did something with a girl, it just seems to gross me out) , but why is it that I'm okay with this person the way she is? Why is it that I still want to be with her and that I'm still attracted to her? Ehh, that feels weird calling her a her. Sigh....  I don't think I should really think into it much...  like, at all, because I already have a potential relationship on my plate (Russel) , and I don't need to be distracted by a goalless idea.