Oh god, oh god, it's dreadful. It's almost torture. Have you ever had some feeling, some emotion, that was so excruciatingly, dreadfully strong that it felt almost torturous to keep it inside you head/body because you felt like it wouldn't be even remotely socially acceptable to literally, physically scream it out to the world as you feel like you have to do to release how tense it makes you?
The reason why I ask is because there's something that I'm extremely tempted to blatantly tell everyone I know and any stranger that happens to walk by me because of how overwhelming it is. I know I'd come off as weird, idiotic, and borderline crazy for telling anyone I see, so I know I can't tell hardly anyone which makes it progressively worse and worse. "I really don't want to make you listen to me talk about wanting to fuck 24/7, but that restraint makes it so excruciatingly worse," I tell a guy-friend of mine. Then I go to Russel(who I'm definitely involved with, but haven't exactly said anything on my blog about it at all. Woops.) and let him know, "My 'problem' is back.... and worse than ever." Russel: "How??" Me: "It just is." Russel: "Well, I offered to help you" Me: "It's just so, extremely bad. You have no idea. It's all I can think about 24/7. It's always there, literally making me unable to sit still, making pictures and scenes go through my head, making me think, 'Oh god, fuck me now.' whenever I'm not completely distracted by something."
So as I sit on my laptop, talking with Russel, listening to Neon Trees and Fall Out Boy, and blogging, I can't help but squirm on my seat, all the muscles tense in my body in anticipation for what it knows isn't coming: A good fuck.
